Feeling terrible for having a “bad day”?
Ever have a bad day and feel guilty about it?
Or you think something’s wrong with you because you’re just feeling awful?
Or deep down you feel super poopy, but then cover it up with big smiles and pretend everything is fine because you don’t want to bother anyone with how you’re really feeling?
And then it’s all compounded when you scroll through your social media?
The big smiles. Perfect plates of food. Gorgeous scenery. People laughing and “living their best life”.
And then there are the hashtags:
#goodvibesonly
#happyisamindset
#staypositive
#positivevibesonly
Yah…the hashtags, lol. Pretty sure if I browse some of my own posts, I’ll find them there!
Researchers and psychologists have a name for all of this:
Toxic Positivity.
Toxic Positivity.
The Psychology Group defines toxic positivity as: the excessive and ineffective overgeneralization of a happy, optimistic state across all situations. The process of toxic positivity results in the denial, minimization, and invalidation of the authentic human emotional experience.
Simply put, when things are going to sh*t and you still pretend that you’re a ray of sunshine, it is called being positive. But when you continue to do so at the cost of ignoring your own negative emotions and urging others to ignore theirs too, you’re being toxic with your positivity.
You know what?
I am guilty of this too.
So…what prompted me to write about this?
The other day I had a bit of a melt down and I turned what was a wonderful day into a bad day really quickly.
I had a difficult time letting myself feel terrible and sad and angry because then I feel something is really wrong with me.
And why would I feel that way?
I thought about this a few days after my “bad day” and came upon all sorts of literature about “toxic positivity” and how it now has us thinking we should always be happy and it’s not “normal” if we are angry, or sad, or mad, or exhausted.
A few things have been building up emotionally and I have been suppressing them. To make things worse, I am not really great at sharing how I am feeling. Honestly, I don’t like to burden people with my problems.
But you know what? It’s ok to feel like this…
It’s…
Ok to not be ok.
Totally normal to feel crappy.
Healthy to let out your emotions and cry.
Ok to feel off.
Perfect to rest when you feel like you need to rest.
Ok to want to be left alone.
Ok to worry.
Ok to feel overwhelmed.
Normal to feel angry.
Ok to feel negative emotions.
Suppressing our feelings and emotions have honestly been compounded in the last few years, unfortunately mainly due to social media.
The result of all the positive stuff is that it seems like everyone’s leading perfect lives, but they’re not.
And just because you see the highlight reels of someone else’s life online doesn’t mean their lives are perfect and seamlessly happy.
Today, remember, there is seriously no shame in having a bad, (or a few) bad days. We don’t always have to be positive about everything. Some situations are distressful, so be honest and compassionate with yourself.
And with others as well.
And when it comes to social media, it never hurts to be mindful of the amount and type of accounts we consume. At times, the more perfect accounts can make us feel guilty for thinking negative thoughts. And that’s ok.
It is 100% healthy to actually unfollow anything that brings too much stress and anxiety to your life. Cutting back on social media, (in general) is extremely healthy for your mental wellness.
I do have an effective, healthy tool for you, however…
Journaling Prompts.
Journaling can really help you process some of your feelings in a mindful, gentle, private way. But, if you’re like me, you need a little extra help to get the creative writing juices going. So I created a full page for you to download, (pdf).
And lastly, if you ever want to support someone else when they’re going through a rough patch, here are some super helpful, kind and compassionate things to say.
(when you click the image below it will also take you to my Lists For Health And Wellness, Pinterest board)
