How to live well with a narcissist if you’re an empath.
Do you have any of these traits?
You…
are highly sensitive and emotionally inclined towards others.
are deeply affected by negativity.
try and keep balance rather than seek success.
prefer quiet, little towns rather than cities.
do your best to avoid confrontation.
prefer personal connections rather than simple small talk.
experience anxiety around people who’s energies are “off”.
absorb others’ moods and emotions and feelings as your own.
are introverted, and feel overwhelmed in crowded places.
are highly intuitive with strong gut instincts.
crave alone time and solitude.
are an easy target for energy vampires and narcissists who consider you an easy target.
find spending time in nature helps you recharge.
aware and really feel when someone is being dishonest
are drawn to healing, holistic therapies and all things metaphysical.
get bored or distracted easily if not stimulated.
can appear moody, shy, aloof or disconnected.
These are all key traits of someone who is described as an “empath”, or highly sensitive.
For me, when I read that list I pretty much can say I am all of those. Some points/descriptions more than others.
I have been told, many times that I am “too sensitive”. And that I take things too personally. Have you been told that? I used to believe I was and that I needed to be less sensitive.
I often turned, (and sometimes still do), those uncomfortable situations into controversies or arguments. When you’re feelings get hurt, sometimes you say stupid things.
It has only been in the past couple years I have recognized my personality trait, (an empathic human) as a kind of “super power”.
Many times the type of people who have often made me feel like I was the one with the “problem” (when there were discrepancies or disagreements or family fights), and have turned controversial situations around to make themselves feel like they’re the victim have been people with narcissistic traits.
I am sure you have a few of those people in your own life, right?
Even thinking about them, gives me a lump in my throat and my heart race. And you know what? That is NOT healthy.
If right now, you have a few difficult relationships and wonder if it’s you, or if it’s them, check in with yourself.
Are you a highly sensitive person trying to make things works with someone who has narcissistic traits?
In case you are wondering, here are some traits of a narcissist.
They:
put their own needs first, are are motivated by their own self-interest and ego driven desires.
manipulate and emotionally abuse people to further their own interests.
struggle with fears of commitment, emotional engulfment and vulnerability.
have a hidden sense of insecurity requiring complements and favours from other people so their wounded ego can get inflated.
feel a lack of remorse or guilt for their mistakes or actions.
think of themselves regardless of how it may affect others.
are unable to apologize or own up to their actions even when presented with evidence.
feel entitled to their actions despite how it will impact others.
As an empath, one of the most important things you can do, for your own mental health, especially if you are dealing with someone in your life with these traits is to…
Understand them and perhaps what happened to them to make them that way.
I know, that’s hard because some of them can be really mean people who have hurt you, not only once but perhaps many, many times. And the worst part is that they probably never apologized, right? Ugh.
So…what happens when they’re part of your life and to keep other relationships, you need to basically learn to live with them?
I have lived with an extreme narcissist, all my life. To be honest, it is exhausting, but here are 4 ways I have learned to live with them:
Avoid confrontation, (when possible).
Do not accept hurtful comments directed at you, be honest and kind with your response. Be clear that you will NOT accept abuse and harmful comments and behavior, (I’m working on this, lol).
You have the choice to limit your time with them. Choose your time carefully.
Stop allowing them to speak to you disrespectfully anymore or quit agreeing with any disparaging words they share about others.
It is NOT you. Stop thinking you are the problem doing everything wrong and you are “too sensitive”. You are not too sensitive. You are a kind, compassionate, caring person who feels everything.
I really hope this helps you today. Once I learned more about relationships between empaths and narcissists, I was able to change my behaviors and accept many of theirs.
The most important thing in the end is how we treat other people. And since we cannot change others, we can accept them for who they are. And hope they eventually take responsibility for their actions…eventually…maybe…lol.
I created checklists of personality traits of empaths & narcissists. I find that the more we understand, not only them, but ourselves, we will be more calm and understanding in future situations.
